Valentine Conundrum
by EchoDeltaNine
Summary: Draco gets a surprise at work, comes home to a nasty fight, but ends happily ever after. Contains cats, pygmy puffs, lingerie and promises of a long, romantic night.
1. Chapter 1

Draco Malfoy was seething as another badly-dressed house-elf crashed around his office, knocking things over and adding another garishly decorated card to the growing pile on the table.

"I needs your name, Sir," the elf squeaked, placing a clipboard on the desk. Draco scowled and quickly signed his name.

"How many more are there?" He snarled. He hadn't gotten any work done today with all this frilly shit being dumped on him every five minutes. The elf had the gall to look uncomfortable.

"I can'ts tell you, Sir. It's against the ruleses!"

Draco nearly threw the elf from his office. After slamming the door for good measure as the elf hurried excitedly away, he observed his office from the doorway. There was the disgusting pile of cards next to his desk, a massive tree that was the color of Pepto-Bismol and had soft, fuzzy leaves that shed all over his desk any time a woman so much as walked by the door. There was a half-kneazle kitten that was fire-engine red creeping around the bookshelves, making a mess, meowing obnoxiously, and evading every attempt at capturing him.

He'd had six poems read to him by the elves, and another three sang to him by the damn things. He was going insane. And he was 100% positive who the culprit was.

Draco sighed, maneuvered around the tree and managed to snag the kitten as he settled back into his desk. The kitten looked up at him with wide blue eyes and he sighed again, scratching it behind the ear. Immediately the beast began purring and settled into his lap for a nap. Okay. He could maybe handle the cat. His girlfriend had just lost hers, so maybe it would be a good present for her.

Taking a deep breath he shot a careful look at the door, expecting it to burst open. When it didn't, he loaded his quill with ink and poised the nib over the important report he had to have finished within the next hour. Since he'd already had to restart twice, he didn't want to ruin it again.

The door still didn't open, so he began writing as quickly as possible. Okay, maybe he didn't have to completely restart from scratch the other two times, but if he could just have a little bit of peace he could have it finished twenty minutes.

When he paused to reload his quill and he still hadn't been interrupted, he relaxed a little. This was better. He hoped that all of his "secret admirers" were done assaulting him with all the pink.

He was just about to finish. One paragraph left, a freshly loaded quill, and one word in when the door burst open, slamming so hard against the wall that the glass shattered. Draco jerked violently, gauging a gaping hole in his report and sending the kitten (who he'd decided was going to be named Fiyero) scrambling under his desk.

"Oops!"

"Look what you did, Theo!"

Draco grit his teeth as his two best friends let themselves into his office. Theo pulled out his wand and quickly repaired the door.

"Sorry, Drake," he said. "I was just excited." He turned around and took a good look at the office before letting out a low whistle.

"No shit," Blaise grinned. "I mean, I'd heard that you had been bombarded by the presents for your suitors, but really?"

"What's the tree for?" Theo butt in.

"Don't touch it!" Draco shouted, but he was too late. Theo was already stroking one of the leaves and the damn thing dumped a whole load of them all over the office.

Blaise sniggered. "Who sent you that?"

"I don't know!" Draco groaned, angrily pushing a hand through his hair. "I don't know who sent it, but I have an idea, and they are going to _pay_ when I find out for sure."

Blaise opened his mouth to reply, but a peal of delighted laughter exploded from Theo instead.

"Fuck."

"Guys, guys, guys," Theo giggled, do you know what day it is?

"Yes, it's the day of hell."

"Valentine's Day," Blaise rolled his eyes.

"Yes!" Theo laughed. "It is! Valentine's Day, and that means that we are supposed to fall in love!" His eyes grew so round that Draco thought they might pop out of his head.

"Holy fuck!" Blaise stepped forward, pulling hard on Theo's shirt to get a better look at his face. "His pupils look like _hearts_. What the hell kind of tree is this?"

"I don't know. I've given it a wide berth and vanish the petals as soon as they explode all over my desk."

"Good thing, too," Blaise frowned. "I think I'm going to set him down and pour some coffee down his throat. Maybe some bitterness will turn his face back to normal." He gave Theo a disgusted look. "Let's go, Lover Boy."

"Okay," Theo swooned, stumbling towards the door. "Have a nice day, Draco," he called over his shoulder.

"Yeah," Draco snorted. "You too arsehole."

Once his friends left, Draco spelled the tree to be immobile and he vanished all of the leaves, just to be safe. He couldn't afford to be moony-eyed for no goddamn reason when he had all this shit to take care of.

He sighed for awhile over his ruined report, then did a botch job of repairing it before signing it, stamping it with a seal and send it out as it was. He'd get a nasty memo come tomorrow morning, but he was past being done.

Grimacing at the state of his office, Draco donned his coat, caught Fiyero, tucked him in his pocket, locked his office and left. Tomorrow he could try again.

(¯`v´¯) *DMHG*

¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)  
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•.

He thought that coming home to his girlfriend would be the start of a better night. Boy, was he wrong.

He came in just as she was stepping out of the floo.

"You!" she screeched. He reeled back against the wall, putting the coffee table between them.

"What?!" he asked alarmed.

"Did you think that was funny, Draco? You nearly got me _fired_ today!"

"_I_ almost got you fired? You completely ruined my entire day!"

"Excuse me?!" She stomped into the room, throwing her coat across the couch and withdrawing her wand. "You didn't even kiss me this morning! Do you even know what day it is?!"

"Yes, Granger, I do know! Thanks to you, I couldn't get anything done and Theo's probably headed to the hospital with a bad case of the giggles from that fucking tree."

"I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about!"

"That's bloody likely," he snarked back, quickly stepping towards her and yanking her wand out of her hand before throwing it across the room. "Stop pointing that thing at me. I don't deserve the 3rd degree after what you put me through today. You promised you wouldn't make a big deal out of this."

"I haven't made a big deal out of _anything_! I didn't even make you breakfast, you arsehole. You threatened to dump me if I so much as breathed the word "love" to you today, and I haven't! I don't understand where you get off being all high and mighty when you flooded my office with Pygmy Puffs! And roses. I _hate_ roses, Draco."

"Now I don't know what you're talking about! I didn't send you anything!"

"Well someone did, Draco. My boss was furious when the damn things started squeaking everywhere. You're damn lucky that I managed to get rid of them all!"

They were standing so close that he could feel her breath fan across his face as she yelled. Angry, he stepped away from her. Marching across the room to put some distance between them. She glared at him as he turned to face her.

The stare down lasted five minutes before, simultaneously, they sighed and she crossed the room to him, wrapping her arms around him. Before he knew it she was crying against his chest and he hugged her tightly against him.

"I'm sorry, love," he whispered. She simply nodded, clutching him closer. He stroked her hair for a long time, pressing kisses to the top of her head. It had been a long time since they'd fought like this.

When she eventually pulled back, he tilted her face up so that he could kiss her.

"I'm sorry, Draco," she sighed after a moment. "I promise that I didn't send anything to you at work."

He kissed her again, longer this time. "I swear I didn't send anything to you, either. I would never embarrass you at work like that; I know how important it is to you." She buried her head in his neck.

"I know."

"And if I _did_, I wouldn't send a swarm of Pygmy Puffs. That's stupid."

She laughed gently. "I didn't think it was much your style."

"No. But…" he trailed off.

"What?"

"If you didn't send all those things to me, and I didn't send you anything, who was working to sabotage us?" He felt her frown.

"I don't know." She sighed, stepping away from him. "And I don't really care. It's over, and I don't want to deal with it anymore."

"Okay."

She sighed quietly and tugged on his hand, then pushed him onto the couch. He fell heavily and then she climbed on top of him, straddling his lap.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you," she said again, stroking his hair.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you," he iterated back.

She rubbed her nose against his, then kissed him. To Draco, this was the best part about fighting with Granger. She always made up for being such a harpy. He sighed into her kiss and with the opening of his mouth, she slipped her tongue in to taste him. The action sent a surge of desire rushing through his body, but he kept his hands on her thighs and back. He shouldn't have jumped so quickly to blame her for the mess at his office. She'd promised not to make this day any different than the others. He should have believed her. So, trying to be the better man, he let her control the way things were going. She'd never led him wrong yet.

To say he was disappointed when she pulled away, though, was an understatement. He'd been good, hadn't he? He inwardly chastised himself. She was such a tease.

He frowned at her. She looked guilty.

"What?" he asked seriously. Her eyes immediately dropped to his chest where she played with the buttons on his dress shirt. "Granger."

"I know I promised I wouldn't make a big deal about today…."

"Granger," he growled.

"But I got you something." He raised a wary eyebrow at her. He'd never been a Valentine's Day guy. He didn't like excessive romance at any time, especially today, but he didn't protest as she got up and disappeared into their room.

She came back several minutes later and tentatively held out a small package wrapped in gold paper tied with a gold ribbon. He met her eyes and touched her fingers as he took it from her.

He stared down at it, not sure what to think. She sat down next to him.

"Open it."

He carefully untied the ribbon, and gently tore the paper.

_Goldings_ was scrawled in gold filigree across the top of the black box. He looked at her, wide eyed.

"Hermione." She shook her head.

"Open it." He stared at her for a long moment and then slowly opened the box.

Nestled in gold tissue paper was an ancient pocket watch, an intricately carved star flashed on the front, the Malfoy family crest boldly scripted across the bottom.

He stared at it for a long time, trying to keep his feelings under control. His hands shook as he lifted it and popped it open. The face of the clock was ivory and around it was the moon cycle, all of it gold.

"Do you like it?" She sounded worried, and he could only look at her. "I know your father didn't will you his, and I know it was important to you, but I thought that, maybe—"

He cut her off, effectively silencing her with a kiss that burned through him.

"I love you," he said seriously, looking her in the eyes. He kissed her before she could say anything. "I love you." He continued to ravish her this way, keeping her quiet as he expressed the feelings that had been building steadily over the past six months.

Hours, or at least it seemed like hours, later they were on the floor and he was hovering over her. He kissed her one more time, a loving pull of lips.

"I love you, Hermione."

She gave him a breathtaking smile.

"You do?"

He laughed, rolling off of her onto his back. He turned his head to look at her, grinning.

"Yes, Granger. I do."

She giggled, curling into his side.

"I love you, too."

"I know." She leaned over him, kissed his lips and sighed happily.

"Draco?" she asked suddenly, staring across the room. "Why is there a cat over there."

He rolled over onto his stomach, and eyed her out of the corner of his eye. Then he got up and retrieved the little fluffball. Fiyero purred and leaned into his hand.

"This," Draco said, sitting down again, "is Fiyero."

"Fiyero?"

"Yes. He was a present from whoever destroyed my office. And, I thought that, maybe, you would like him. Real sweet thing."

"He's red!"

Draco shrugged. "Still a cat though."

Hermione reached for the cat who excitedly leaped into her arms, immediately curling into her chest and massive amount of hair.

"Well, he is sweet." She nuzzled the kitten, smiling. "Did he come named?"

"No, I named him."

"Fiyero?"

"Yes." She smiled up at him. "Okay. Thank you, Draco. This was really sweet of you."

He leaned into her, kissed her and then jumped to his feet.

"Stay here." She raised an eyebrow at him as he disappeared through the door and rummaged through the pantry, the hall closet, and the cabinet under the bathroom sink.

"Draco, what are you doing?" She was standing in the hall, Fiyero tucked into her arms.

"I told you to stay put!" he chastised, pushing her back. "I'll be right there."

He sighed heavily, making sure she obeyed. Then he took another deep breath and, with his heart bared, he reentered the living room.

"Now listen," he said when he realized her eyes were tearing up. "I know that I said I didn't want to celebrate this stupid holiday, but—" he broke off, kneeling down in front of her, offering her the vase of the tiger lilies he'd bought two days ago. "But I realized I haven't been too great to you lately, and I shouldn't need an excuse to treat you like a queen." He handed her the box that contained one of his family's heirlooms—a silver dragon necklace that closed with the tail looping over the head with a matching bracelet—never looking away from her eyes. "And I wanted today to be special in the only way that I know how; I didn't mean to make you think that I didn't want a romantic night with you. I just didn't want you to have some insane expectation and have me fall short."

"That would never happen, Draco." She carefully set Fiyero aside and opened the box, gasping at its contents.

"It was my mother's, who inherited through a long line of Malfoy women. I want you to have it. Do you like it?"

She grinned at him tearfully, kneeling down in front of him and lifting up her hair so he could help her put it on.

"It's beautiful, Draco," she whispered, kissing him gently. "Thank you."

He smiled back at her, then helped her to her feet before obviously putting the box of chocolates on the coffee table.

"We can share these later, but right now, you need to get dressed. We have reservations at seven."

Hermione wiped at her eyes, giving him a smoldering look.

"Will you unzip my dress?" He swallowed thickly but complied and the pretty silk fabric fell to the floor in a puddle. He gaped.

"You've been hiding that all this time?!" She was wearing less than lingerie, the boning of her sheer corset prominent against her flat stomach, sexy garters and matching frilled underwear adorned her long legs.

"Yes," she said seriously, then danced out of the reach of his arms. "I'll just put something nice on." He wanted to stop her, chase after her and pin her down in their bed, but he had made these reservations months ago, and couldn't afford not to make them.

"Hurry up, Granger!" he called, slipping on his suit jacket.

She appeared in a dress little better than the lingerie, a fierce red, with matching lipstick and the necklace and bracelet shining against her skin.

"When we come back here," he growled in her ear, placing a hand intimately at the sway of her back as he ushered her out the door. "I'm going to take that dress off you, and remove your underwear with my teeth. And I promise you that you will not be able to walk straight tomorrow."

She gave him an impish smile, sneakily squeezing his arse as they left the building. "Can't wait," she challenged saucily.

She sashayed in front of him, twirling happily about the street and he stared after her for a long moment. He was so fucking lucky.

When she held out her hand, he hurried to her, enveloping hers in his own, reveling in the fact that he was happier than he had ever been with a woman who put up with all of his shit, and loved him anyway. He wouldn't change it for anything.

A/N: there is an epilogue to this, coming soon!


	2. Epilogue

**Epilogue:**

"He's suffering from _what_?"

"From the effects of the Hou Van Lachen Tree. Its blossoms are used in several perfume products, and it's leaves are used in Amortentia. When brewed, it's harmless—well, as harmless as love potions go. Unfortunately, touching its leaves with bare skin will bring about an infatuation for love for an indeterminate amount of time."

Blaise stared at the mediwitch, his mouth hanging open.

"An indeterminate amount of time?"

"Oh yes, dear," she said distractedly, sponging sweat off of Theo's forehead as he lay in the hospital bed, his tongue lolling out of his mouth, his pupils still shaped like hearts. "Sometimes it lasts for a couple of hours, sometimes a few days, months. The longest case lasted for a year, but as long as he doesn't ingest anything related to Amortentia, he should be fine in a short time."

"There's no cure?" Blaise asked, outraged. Goddamn, when he'd heard about the tree—about how it showered leaves every time someone touched it or spoke too loudly—he'd been overjoyed. He knew that it would be the icing on the cake for the disaster he had planned for Draco. But he hadn't heard of the side effects.

"Unfortunately, no. There's an experimental remedy circulating in Germany, but there isn't any known cure."

"Well, can we get that stuff from Germany? I can't watch over him until this stupid thing wears off."

"Then you will have to find someone who will, Mister Zabini. We simply cannot keep him here on the grounds of delusionary side effects."

"What am I supposed to do?"

The witch gave him a sharp, reprimanding look and helped Theo to sit up.

"That a boy."

"Blazje," Theo slurred, grinning toothily at his friend. "I think love ish jusht everywhere. Isn't it sho great?"

"Oh yeah," Blaise sighed, slinging Theo's arm around his shoulders. "It's real great."

The mediwitch bustled around the room, shoving a small bag of tea into his hand.

"Make him drink this twice a day. It may or may not make it better, but it will certainly subdue the—er—_friskiness_."

"Friskiness?!" Blaise said in a panic, reeling as far away from Theo as he could without dropping him on the floor. Theo leered at him, suggestively raising his eyebrows at his friend. "Don't even think about it, funny boy."

"But you're so—you're so _handsome_, Blazje."

"No, Theo." He looked helplessly at the nurse. "There really isn't _anything_ that you can do?"

"Sorry, no. Good luck, love." Blaise watched her in outrage as she hurried out of the room.

"Let's go home, Blazje," Theo said, sagging into Blaise's side.

Sighing, Blaise complied, mumbling obscenities to himself as he tucked Theo into bed and then poured himself a tall glass of Ogden's Finest. He didn't know how in the hell he was going to explain this to their boss…or Draco. Boy, that was going to be a conversation.

Thankfully he didn't have to do that until Monday. In the meantime, Blaise was only too happy to drown his stupid decision to sabotage Draco and Hermione's Valentine's Day. It wasn't that he wanted to make things difficult, but they had been so damn _cute_ all the time that something had to be done. And here, here he was, suffering the consequences while Draco probably got laid.

Damn him. Damn him and his stupid girlfriend, too.

(¯`v´¯) *DMHG*

¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)  
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•.

"You have got to be kidding me," Draco laughed, practically rolling on the floor of his (thankfully) pink-free office.

"Will you please just watch him for a little while?"

"While you go off gallivanting with some witch who wants to seduce you? I think not!"

"Come on, Draco, I'll owe you forever!"

"You already do!"

Blaise cringed, forcing Theo back into the chair, leaning his body away as his friend tried to grope him. Again.

"Please, Draco."

"Not a chance in hell."

Blaise sighed, looking dejectedly at Theo. Well, Blaise though, he isn't all that bad looking.

"You're some friend, Malfoy."

"Nope. Just Slytherin."

Shaking his head, Blaise yanked Theo up by the collar of his jacket. Since Draco was being such an arse, he guess he would just have to take what he could get.

Accepting his fate, he allowed Theo to lean against him as he led them both out of the ministry.

**A/N: Haha, happy ending! Sorry it took so long, college was a bitch. I hope that you enjoyed this little Valentine's Day story!**


End file.
